Monkey Tennis SEO
It still irks myself when I come across SEO companies that promise the Earth and deliver nothing better than costly “time-wasted” exercises. And believe me there is a girth of them out there selling their wares and promises like tomorrow never existed.
I know, I know, they have been labeled everything from “Snake-Oil Salesmen” to “Fly-by-Night SEO companies” but in reality they still turn a coin and business after business still buy into their chocolate-coated “Page One” guaranteed spiel. Its hardly their fault that companies want to chase after a non-existent dream of bossing the top positions of the search engines for a little less than a few hundred quid each month.
Me and the rest of the SEO community could blog or post or plead until our keyboards harbored the shreds of our finger tips that these companies are not worth a second glance but what difference does it make when enterprises are still barely switched onto to what is required to have a decent chance of making an on-line success of their business.
I have even come across big players within the SEO community promising outlandish guarantees of page one listings within a ten month period. Its only when you read their small print that you begin to chuckle inward, then realise that they are no-better than the scheming lowest common denominator SEO company that you and I would class as snake-oil.
It is with the emergence of these (gawd, I hate to say it) more enterprising firms taking on-board tactics such as lower than a slugs gonads that I have taken it within myself to claim the right to call such companies as “Monkey Tennis SEO”.
Off-line media describes the term “Monkey Tennis” as “poorly-conceived or of particularly low quality” which fits these should-know-better SEO companies adaquetly. The sooner we have a governmental body or even a peer ranking system for SEO and Internet Marketing companies the better.
Jeff Quipp said,
Wrote on December 14, 2007 @ 5:03 am
Couldn’t agree more Paul. Not sure a governing body would be able to enforce it though, unless we create it to police the industry ourselves, and offer certifications. Something for us all to think hard about, and implement!
Matt Ridout said,
Wrote on December 14, 2007 @ 12:01 pm
It’s becoming less of a problem but it does still happen. I don’t think people do themselves any favors sometimes. Daily I see on freelance sites people willing to spend anything up to $200 for 10 PR 7 links or 1st page of Google for 20 keywords.
People that expect this deserve to have their money wasted, sounds harsh I know but people have to start realizing SEO is a long term strategy with sometimes high expenses.
Rant over
Hobo said,
Wrote on December 17, 2007 @ 9:06 pm
Of course as soon as you decide to “out” anyone, they threaten to sue you….. even if you don’t actually ‘out’ them…..
Paul said,
Wrote on December 17, 2007 @ 9:24 pm
I know Shaun, I’m going to do a bit more work on “Monkey Tennis SEO” firms and see what I can bring together.
It might make an interesting post if I do it correctly.
@ Matt and Jeff — I hear Ya!
Boydie said,
Wrote on December 18, 2007 @ 4:27 pm
NO! not the snake oil, it’s been a while. I started my blog by slagging off dodgy seo companies and one of them turned out to be well known
although still dodgy.
I’m never sure whether people are just pissed at these guys taking the “white hat, no guarantee” seo companies business. You have to think beyond strategy and technique, it goes all the way back to the buyer not having a clue, good guy says “no guarantee, costs £XXXX” bad guy says “Number one and only £200″ If I was stupid I know what I’d go for.
It always amazes me when I am in a city high street and there is always a person selling cupboard cutout things with legs, attached to a radio aerial with thread so that they dance around, these things must sell or the person would not be there, hence the old marketing saying “There’s an idiot born every minute”
You have to leave the dodgy people alone, there a huge part of the good seo company’s sales process and we don’t know it.
Firstly the dodgy company doesn’t charge enough money to switch there pc’s on and they nearly always fail to delivery, which in turns leads the customer to the good companies door where the bill just went up and expectations are down. I was checking through an e consultancy document about something or other and I worked out the average an seo/digital marketing company is charging is about £700 a day, there will always be room for the dodgy seo guys, leave them alone there making our lives easier.
Another point on this is some of these Indian companies are getting good, although the promise of first place is still there some of them are getting the service and results right and the price is very tasty, lets hope there reputation precedes them.
Boydie said,
Wrote on December 18, 2007 @ 4:28 pm
God! I really put alot down on that post, Damn, should have kept that for my own un-updated blog.
Paul said,
Wrote on December 18, 2007 @ 5:36 pm
Boydie there is an element of truth in what your saying but i wasn’t having a go at the dodgy seo firms more the firms that should-know-better.
I do agree with you that not all companies can or will pay for SEO. But its not just the promise of rankings that you get with a good firm they look at your all-round model and can pin-point areas where companies could easily improve their investment.
Dolphin said,
Wrote on December 18, 2007 @ 6:15 pm
@Boydie £700 a day! I thought I was getting cheeky by raising my prices, I have some way to go before I think I am over charging.
It is strange how some people are so tight fisted that they want to be no1 in Google for the term Google but then only want to pay 50 quid a month and then other people seem to have obscene budgets for easy terms.
I also find that every single web design company now seems to offer SEO. Just because they design websites doesnt really mean they know anything about SEO does it? You dont see me selling flash animation, thats cos I cant bloody do it.
David Hopkins said,
Wrote on December 18, 2007 @ 11:41 pm
@Paul - I also think there is a great need for some sort of standards body to oversee the realm of web development and online marketing.
There are such bodies for various other trades from construction to catering. So why not the digital arts?
The problem is such a body could easyily become a tool in the hands of monopolists. There is a certain organisation that I won’t name that is used by at least a handful of companies to eat up lots of fat web dev. contracts.
Colin said,
Wrote on December 20, 2007 @ 2:45 pm
Unfortunatly most larger clients hire agencies becuase they don’t know how to do it themselves and don’t have the time to learn and understand the basic’s. I’ve seen some very impressive RFP’s and then when we talk to the client there internal marketing team is all over the place so they place the trust on us, and in other the cases the number one for 200 bucks guys.
Any way, what’s happening with the Xmas beer session and are you still at 360?
Matt Davies said,
Wrote on January 11, 2008 @ 5:11 pm
Just found this post, LOVING the term “Monkey Tennis SEO”. The problem is that with so many of these agencies, the people selling and promoting the product are rather divorced from the people who will be delivering it. It’s easy to sell high hopes when you’re not the one who’ll get it in the neck when they fail to materialise. So long as the sales people at search agencies care more about their commissions than making sure their customers know what they’re buying into then there will be hollow promises. That’s the same in any industry really, but search is the easiest to bullshit about as the majority of people still have no clue how it works.
Paul said,
Wrote on January 13, 2008 @ 10:21 am
Matt glad you like the term “Monkey Tennis SEO” - you bring up valid points regarding sales people.
When I worked at 360 the sales guys were quite good at selling SEO because they focused more on the “figures and conversions” that SEO could improve on for a business instead of what was involved in the process.
The Snake Oil SEO Company Manifesto - 17 Fibs - Hobo SEO UK said,
Wrote on January 28, 2008 @ 8:51 pm
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