25 Jan, 2008
Humour
We see them everyday, in our RSS feeds, in our daily paths as we seek out our industry news. Those commentators who scoop the headlines or are so engraved in the search engine marketing industry that future babies will bare their name (ok, I took that a little too far but c’mon a build-up is a build-up). They are our No. 1 source for breaking news and inside information.
So, say, what were to happen if … the SEO & Search world were to go mainstream. Ballistic Rock Star status would beckon. TV shows, iconic adulation, chat show spots are a few money making schemes. But we all know where the moneys at! Kids toys! Just ask George Lucas.
And with about as much content as an AdSense Scraper site I bring you; ‘What if The SEO & Search World Had Action Figures’ debate. Yeah I know its weak, heck, keep with it you might even find it slightly amusing as a Duran Duran comeback tour.
Without further ado, I have listed those commentators that a plastic profile manufacturer may make a buck or two from. There are a helluva lot of others that haven’t made the grade, not because I think there not good enough but because at the end of the day I couldn’t be arsed searching no more. I do have a company to run, after all. If you feel that I have missed anyone out then post a comment or two and I’ll update the list as we go.
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| Danny Sullivan |
| Hero Name |
Captain Search |
| Strengths |
Knows a lot, Knows a helluva lot, Can make ShoeMoney quiet, WooHoo! |
| Weaknesses |
Wire(d), Says sorry at the drop of a hat, doesn’t link to me |
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| Tamar |
| Hero Name |
Tamar The Truthful |
| Strengths |
Heavy hitter in the World of Social Media |
| Weaknesses |
Suffers from large thumb syndrome from too much thumbing-up. |
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| Rand Fishkin |
| Hero Name |
Rand The Six Million Dollar Guy |
| Strengths |
Has an army of Mozzites that obey his every word. |
| Weaknesses |
Too nice and also doesn’t link to me! |
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| Sebastian |
| Hero Name |
Seb The Red Claw |
| Strengths |
Too clever for his own good! |
| Weaknesses |
Too clever for his own good! |
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| Dave Naylor |
| Hero Name |
Dave N |
| Strengths |
Highly competitive. |
| Weaknesses |
Overwhelming need to turn Matt Cutt’s (Google’s prodigal son) to the Dark Side. Not giving me an interview slot. |
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| Lyndoman |
| Hero Name |
Darth Red |
| Strengths |
If its online then Lyndoman is on it. |
| Weaknesses |
Suncream, rids that redness. |
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| Tim Nash |
| Hero Name |
Tim the Truthful |
| Strengths |
Tell’s it like it is. You can’t handle The Truth so don’t ask. |
| Weaknesses |
Talks in his sleep, so if you want the secrets to SEO ask Tim over for the night. |
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| Arron Wall |
| Hero Name |
Arron the Wall |
| Strengths |
Great author, fantastic SEO. |
| Weaknesses |
Don’t ask him what book he’s reading. |
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| Jim Boykin |
| Hero Name |
Jim The Authority Link |
| Strengths |
Can make scary link building drawings that keep you captivated for weeks. |
| Weaknesses |
Pulls funny poses for the camera when least expected. |
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| Bill Slawski |
| Hero Name |
Billy The Fish |
| Strengths |
Devours search engine patents for his lunch! |
| Weaknesses |
Reminds me of my Craft and Design Teacher. |
And with every hero group you get the anti-heroes, and quite frankly one of these guys deserves every thing coming and well the other well he slags off SEO’s for fun, which is which you make your own mind up.
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| Jason Calaacacacacanis (acht too) & ShoeMoney |
| Anti-Hero Name |
Dr Evil & Mini Me |
| Strengths |
People throw money at them as if its going out of fashion. |
| Weaknesses |
T-Shirts and bad search engines.  |
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